At times ungrateful

Yesterday I attended a local country chapel for the Good Friday Stations of the Cross.  We parked along the roadside as the small rural car park was full.  My son and I walked the short distance up the hill to the little chapel as many generations had done before us.

We entered, no Holy Water in the fonts to bless us today. We took our seat, we were running late.  On the altar was the Crown of Thorns and the Tabernacle lay open and empty. A thought provoking sight.

Within a minute the bell rang for the priest to leave the Sanctuary and approach the altar. He enters slowly and unsteadily, he uses a stick to walk now.  Goodness radiates from him, a humble good man. He welcomes the congregation and leads us reverently to the beginning of the 'stations'.  His words touched my soul.

"2017 years ago this was the most important day in the history of this world.  No other day could ever be considered as monumental or more important than the day Jesus gave up his life for us.  We are here to honour and remember that defining moment the day that He accepted of His own free will to die for the sins of every man and woman.  To die for us."

I felt an overwhelming sense of ungratefulness. Forgive me Lord for taking your sacrifice at times for granted. Thank you for loving me so much that you died for me.

As the prayers begin he encourages us and enlightens us with the circumstances of  Jesus walk to his imminent death. No matter how many times I witness this prayerful event I am deeply moved.  The horror of it can not be imagined.  How Jesus suffered for me.  The weight of that cross crushing Him is heartbreaking.  The indignity of his suffering and His last breath that he gave up ... His crying out to God the father moves me to tears.

As a mother the image of Mary Our Mother watching her beloved child die such a horrific and painful a death is unfathomable.  We are reminded of Luke 2 : 35

At the time of the presentation of the Lord in the Temple, Mary was told, "a sword will pierce through your own soul also" (Luke 2:35).

The old priest's emotive understanding, tender love and respect for Jesus suffering fills us with an understanding of God's immeasurable love for us all. He paused half way through the ceremony and sat silently for a while.  His frailness and utter humble acceptance of his own physical situation was palatable. He accepted the help of a modest man to hold his prayers for him as it became clear he was unable to do so himself.

" We adore Thee, O Christ, and bless Thee.
Because by Thy holy cross Thou hast redeemed the world."

http://www.catholic.org/prayers/station.php?id=1

After we respectfully completed the 14 stations, I left that chapel spiritually renewed and deeply aware of the love of God.  No matter what life throws at us and no matter what difficulty that seems so overwhelming, we are not alone. I humbly thank you Jesus for dying for me.  Many times I have wandered away and tried to live without God but I know I can't.  I am eternally thankful and grateful for God's true grace that has led me to this realisation.