Set in my ways

When I was a child I said very little but listened a great deal. Anyone who knew me in my teens and onwards would split their sides laughing at that one. To say I was vocal, impulsive and at times slightly annoying by 15 is an understatement. A free spirit who didn't want to be caged in any way shape or form and who wasn't afraid of letting the world know either.  I cringe now when I think of some of the stupid things I have said and done :).  

We lived in a beautiful rural area of N Irish countryside down a long winding lane with my granny.   Extended family visitations were always exciting and much anticipated.  The ladies would gather and chitter away putting the world to right or wrong.  One thing the 'oldies' said always made me curious.  They would be discussing someone and describing them as "VERY SET IN THEIR WAYS" .  Spoke in a long drawn out animated way.  This term was used sincerely at the end of the slating or praising of the said person.  


I eventually grew to understand what this phrase meant to me.  I vowed I would never turn into  someone so boring and uninteresting.  How could a person become to be so afraid of living on a whim, doing what they wanted to do as the moment took them.  Little did I know that some day I would admit that it is a blessing in many ways to be SET IN MY WAYS.

For years I was always buzzing around not fit to relax at times and not always making the best of the opportunities, times or my own worth.  Now I find great comfort in a well worn daily routine whether it be self employment from home, housework, gardening or cooking.  Wisdom has eventually knocked on my door.  Though when an unexpected interruption of my routine hits me ... I am uneasy.

I love my life, my little routines, my set times for organising days out to see my friends.  I giggle at my mission on very particular days of the week to hit the shops.  I like to buy my groceries so early in the morning that I am meeting the pre-school traffic on my way home :)    I treasure the chair I sit in, the china cup I drink my coffee from and the unmatched knife and fork that I relish using at dinner time.  I shockingly and ashamedly am now set in my ways and I sometimes wonder did the oldies not realise that maybe they were too !

At present we are preparing for the marriage of our oldest child, our first born son.  We are so delighted and thankful that he has found his wife to be.  Her family are lovely people and we will have a wonderful day but my gosh we are so out of routine its frightening.  I just want normality ... the invitations have gone out and we await the chasing of close relatives to verify that they will grace us with their appearance. 

There are so many bits and pieces to be tied up.  I still have to find shoes, hat and a handbaggggggggggggggggggggggggg !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  We are now counting weeks.  I have work going on in my home and a new back door ordered.  I NEED AND WANT the outside of our home painted before visitors call ...I have been chasing a painter for a start date as months.  I am under pressure, I am stressed out  and my routine has gone to pot but at the same time very excited.  I don't want to wish the weeks away or state I WISH THIS WAS ALL OVER AND WE WERE BACK TO NORMAL.  Precious times and treasured memories are being made .. life will pop back into place by the start of November.  I will have lots of time to relish being set in my ways.  

The photograph on this post reflects in some way my memories of our cottage in the 1960's. Please ignore the 2 postcard posers at the front door. :)  The lady on the far left is so like my mother right down to the way she stands arms by her sides. The way she dressed and the style of her hair.  I remember our home being very white but very cosy. My play companions were dogs, cats and hens.  We had no water or electricity and no bathroom either but we survived it.  Our water supply was a well a few foot from the front door where we fished in a white enamel bucket pulling out the most delicious, coldest water ever. We didn't get sick or need antibiotics then.  We had an outside toilet (I now have 4 inside toilets and am very grateful for them) and we washed instead of showering. I went to Irish dance class on a Monday after school and stayed with my aunt.  She had a proper bathroom and every Monday night she'd switch a 3 bar electric fire on and fill a big bubble bath just for me.  She loved me dearly and I her.

Life was not perfect, many times I listened to whispered and raised voices when was money being worried over. Money was only mentioned when there wasn't enough of it to go round. I know for certain my mother skipped meals so I was fed.  Growing up in poverty is not something to relish but it arms you with a strong conviction to survive.  I genuinely would not swap being born poor. I hated it at times but its memory serves me well to this day. It hurts me now to see someone struggling like my mother and granny had to.  I am fortunate through God's good grace not to have to lose sleep over financial or material things.  God has been good to me.

My granny and mother knitted Irish jumpers earning a pittance, by the light of an oil lamp and a big open fire whilst we listened to plays on the radio.  We read lots of books and created stories whilst staring into the flickering embers of a big fire. We toasted bread and boiled a teapot in front of it when the bottle gas ran out with no money to buy more. It tasted so good :)   In some ways I wish our lifestyle was similar to this today.  Everything is so instant. 

It takes a long time in life to realise the people who reared you were incredible people in their own right.  They may not have been powerful or wealthy but they were treasured individuals that had such an impact on all that came into contact with them. They were generous to others even when they had little themselves.  Such strong individuals who never would have admitted they were SET IN THEIR WAYS.